Halloween Drunkeness Leads to Molestation in Jail
by Xiaolang's Ying Fa
Summary: Humorous fic based on what would happen when Kaiba Seto is sent to jail. Slight JS, and an icky version of Bandit Keith. This is not as funny as Of Panties and Oddly Placed Mistle Toe, in fact, its stupider and more pointless.


Ying Fa: Random snuff I wrote last Halloween, didn't think I was ever going to write more to it, so here's all I'm writing!

Disclaimer: Do I even have to write this? If I owned Yuugi-ou, it would be a reenactment of Tricky Treason!

XxX

Great. Just fucking great. I sigh irritatedly as I nearly throw my cell phone at the guard waiting patiently by the cell. Hmph, patiently my ass. He had a vein popping off his forehead and he was muttering under his breath about stupid Halloween delinquents, and why we couldn't just leave the drinking to adults. Ha! Drinking…I'd only had a few and it was that car in the right lane that just had to push my buttons…

It was Halloween night, 2004…and I just had to get my ass pulled over because of a little bit of swerving! And…and just because I couldn't walk that straight line doesn't mean I'm too intoxicated to drive! Damn it…I'm supposed to pick up Mokuba in a half an hour! They can't keep me here! Fuck, I want to call my attorney!

"Hey! Don't I get my one phone call!" I yell out to the guard standing by at the receptionist desk.

"You shut up or I'll have to move you into the jail you good for nothing drunkard! You're waking everyone up!"

"I AM NOT DRUNK! …just a little sloshed." Fuck, I don't know why I'm explaining things to him, he's nothing but a nobody, a man at the bottom of the food chain, he is _beneath_ me.

"I told you to shut up! Do you really want to go back there so bad!"

"I just want to make my phone call damn it! God is it _that_ hard to comprehend!"

"Fine! Just shut up!" he said, chucking my phone back at me. I caught it blindly, searching through the directory to find my attorney's number. I punched the talk button angrily. I swear to god, when I get out of here, I'm firing this man from this stupid, nasty jail. Come on, pick up…pick up damn you!

'Hello, you've reached Kazuki Takahashi, I'm not here at the moment and wont be back until November 7th on vacation, please leave a message at the beep.' XBEEPX

A violent twitch left my eye. Fuck. On vacation.

"ARG!"

"Alright, that's it from you, c'mon, down to the jail." The guard from before grabbed my arm and began pulling me down a long hallway. I struggled against him.

"Fuck you! Do you have any idea who I am!" the guard stopped and I almost thought I was home free, until I saw the look on his face.

"Listen, just because you're Kaiba Seto doesn't mean your not also still just another drunken adolescent making the streets a dangerous place on this Halloween night. I can't let you go and you're only making it worse for yourself by resisting. You'll be free in the morning when you can pay your own bail, _Mr_. Kaiba." I growled viciously at him, he can't do this!

"I can't stay here! I have to be at my brother's friend's house in fifteen minutes! He needs me!"

"He needs you to pick him up drunk and crash into a telephone pole on the way home, right? I don't think even he needs to be home that bad." I gave up struggling against him, I knew it would be futile. But I still had an evil glare on my face as we passed the inmates. I still can't believe he's going to leave me down here…Hell, I can't believe I was so stupid to _make_ him leave me down here. But I am not about to beg to go back. I'll survive these crazies somehow.

I received some catcalls as we neared what I thought to be an empty cell, men reaching out at me through the bars. I shuddered in disgust. Such vile men…they deserve to be here. Although I couldn't help but become at least a little scared at what could happed in a mere seven hour time span…I desperately hoped I'd be rooming alone.

The guard opened the cell and pushed me inside, grabbing my cell phone from me as he left.

"Hey!" I called back. He didn't even hesitate.

Damn it. Fuck. I'm stuck here. I sighed loudly and plopped down on a close bench still out of reach of the shadows. No matter how much I don't want to admit this…I'm really getting freaked out…Maybe its just that its Halloween…But I think they're someone in my cell…

My eyes dart toward the small window at the end of the cell then quickly back to the front. A deep chuckle resonated from within my cell and I knew I wasn't alone then. Oh fuck. I try not to make it obvious as I jump up out of my seat and head toward the light, not looking behind me as I do so. The laugh sounds out again. Fuck, it sounds a lot closer.

I slowly turn around and my eyes meet with the cold hungry blue eyes of a man with a huge burly frame. Fear fills me to the brim…fuck, I know I can't take him.

XxXKatsuya's POVXxX

God damn it. Stupid arrogant stubborn CEO bastard. He just had to get himself involved in this, didn't he? And now, he expects some miracle to save him. Well, sorry Kaiba, that guard ain't coming back. xsighx Damn it, I guess I better be his miracle. Gawd, the things I do for this man.

XxXNormal POVXxX

The burly inmate made himself quickly acquainted with the CEO standing scared stiff against the wall, he was nearly shaking he was so terrified.

"Stop it." he commanded, his voice surprisingly solid. The man before him smirked.

"No way, you're the prettiest thing that's been in here since Jouii…" the voice slurred. The man continued to move forward, unbuttoning the brunet's shirt so quickly Kaiba couldn't even comprehend the task had been done. He backed up farther against the wall, small beads of sweat beginning to form on his face, his eyes growing fearful.

"Quit it Keith, this one's mine." A voice said from within the shadows. 'Keith' growled and simply pressed himself closer to the quivering brunet. Kaiba's cool blue eyes glanced at the shadowed figure in the darkness, wondering who in the world would save him from this…he certainly didn't have any friends, that was for sure.

"What the fuck!" Keith yelled, obviously annoyed with the shadow man's assertion. "He doesn't have you're mark, Jouii, he's fair game!" Jouii…who the hell was Jouii? Kaiba knew he didn't know anyone by that name! An irritated snort sounded from the man as he stepped forward, Kaiba's heart skipping a beat at seeing a certain blond he could only know as 'the mutt'. Why would Jounouchi save him? Better yet, why was Jounouchi here? Nevertheless, all that seemed to matter at that moment was that he was being saved, and someone, even though it was the mutt…deserved his gratefulness…especially seeing as how he got here just in time.

Jounouchi stepped straight up to the man, seemingly unafraid of his appearance. He grasped Kaiba's right arm, yanking it upwards and ignoring the sudden gasp emitting from the brunet's lips. He shoved his shirtsleeve up, baring the faded bite marks upon the taller teen's inner forearm.

Keith looked shocked at first, how could Jouii have claimed this high class stuck up rich boy before he could have? It didn't make any sense! He was higher in class that Jouii was! The shocked look quickly dissolved into a small recognition.

"That isn't where you mark, Jouii. He's open field."

"Oh for Christ's sake!" Jounouchi said, rolling his eyes, narrowing them at the same time. It was almost enough to make Keith crawl back from where he came, but he wanted this one. And he'd known Jounouchi long enough not to get spooked by his glares.

Jounouchi turned his head, his eyes meeting Kaiba's only for a second before he ripped the brunet's shirt collar, exposing his pale shoulder and prominent collarbone. He swiftly bent down, holding the CEO's neck as a lever and sunk his teeth deeply into the succulent flesh that made up the brunet's shoulder.

Kaiba hissed lightly from the sudden pain. What the hell was Jounouchi doing? No matter…he would address this later…once 'Keith' left…He could feel the blond's tongue lapping at his wound…ah gods…why did that feel so good? His breath hitched and he found himself leaning into the touch of the small street punk, finding that he liked it immensely. He held back a groan as the blond leaned back, leaving his bite wound feeling cold and achy.

Damn it. He…had he just admitted he liked that? And had he…leaned into the blond? Jeez…Kaiba blamed the alcohol he consumed that night. No way he was falling for the blond mutt…was he?

Jounouchi faced the burly dirty blond haired felon, blood stained on his lips as he traced them with his tongue.

"Happy now?" he asked, smirking triumphantly. Keith growled and slowly began to back off, removing his arms begrudgingly from the beautiful brunet he almost had at his mercy. "Hey, best be it you tell the others this one's off limits." Jounouchi warned.

"Whatever." The man grumbled, walking angrily away only to sulk in a nearby corner and watch enviously. He wondered if Jounouchi really had marked the brunet…and why was the mark on his arm? Hm, oh well, it didn't concern him now.

Jounouchi turned his head, walking back to his bench and laid down tiredly.

"You were lucky I was awake." Was his only comment. Kaiba bristled at the remark.

"What the hell was that all about, mutt!" Jounouchi chuckled.

"Would you have rather I watched?" Jounouchi smirked and Kaiba paled. "Hm, didn't think so. Off that subject…How did the Great and Mighty Kaiba Seto get locked up for the night anyways?" he laughed a bit, remembering his reason for being there. Kaiba growled.

"For your information…I was just a little tipsy…and I swerved off the road…"

"Was? Kaiba, I think you still are. You should be more careful, there's a lot of crazy people down here."

"I know." Kaiba said, azure eyes staring directly into the blond's amber eyes. Jounouchi rolled his eyes.

"Hardy har har…" he said sarcastically.

"So…how did you get down here?" Kaiba asked softly, hoping the night wouldn't remain in silence. He hated that even more that the loud ruckus caused by the horrid public school he was forced to attend.

"Hehe…" the blond laughed, holding his stomach for support. "Me an' Honda went out on a flashing spree. Flashed the old folks home, then a bunch of little kids playing at a school party. Yeah, we got caught right about there." Jounouchi broke out into full laughter. "Honda got put into a different cell cuz they were afraid of what we'd do together." Kaiba had a look of pure disbelief on his face.

"You…flashed your…? Dear god." Kaiba said, a light blush illuminating his face. "The poor children." Jounouchi laughed.

"Did you just make a joke, Kaiba?" he asked, laughing even more at the look on the brunet's face.

"Blame the alcohol." Was all he said.


End file.
